The Parts We Weren’t Told in Sunday School: The Real Story of Samson’s Wife in Judges 15

As I sit down to pray and think and write about the grave passage in Judges 15, I’m almost dumbstruck that at the same time, we are in the middle of a national debate about whether or not to believe women when they come forward as victims of assault. Here is what I want to express before anything else: God is for women. Jesus lifted up women during His days on earth. The heart of our heavenly Father is grieving what has happened and what is happening to His daughters. He is also grieving that so many of His sons have fallen victim to a system that tells them ridicule and abuse of women is just not that big of a deal.

Millennia of oppression and abuse of women was never the plan. But God hasn’t given up on His plan.

Stories of Survival

I have my own experiences with sexual assault, as I’m sure many of you reading do. I’m a survivor of two attempted date rapes, ten years apart from each other, as well as decades of unwanted touching, grabs, verbal attack, leers, jeers, and exposures. In my twenties I lived in New York City for six years; sexual harassment was just part of daily life. The second attempted date rape ended with the man saying, “Oh come on, I was only fighting you like, 25%. I have 50 pounds on you, if I’d wanted to, I could have done more.” He wanted to make sure I knew that I wasn’t spared because I struggled and fought my way out of the situation, but that he was the one in control and that I got away because of his benevolence.

Then I did what we’re taught to do from girlhood: smile, placate, pretend you’re fine, and speak soothingly. I was not safe and this man was clearly on a hare-trigger. Instead of speaking out (or yelling out) and holding him accountable for his assault, I was polite and calm so that I could get away unharmed. It wasn’t until his car was driving away that I collapsed.

After sexual trauma, most victims experience an incredible sense of shame and disgust and can resort to self-blame. This is the signature move of the Accuser; his bag of tricks hasn’t changed much throughout time, and my immediate reaction was no different.

Friends of faith, I am a pastor. This predator was one who said he knew Jesus. Sadly I have not been protected from these types of incidents because of the Christian circles I am generally a part of. In fact, as a single woman in church leadership, I have regularly endured misogynistic monologues and slap downs, patronizing and incorrect explanations for why women are not fit to command certain roles, gas lighting galore, and yes, even sexual harassment and assault.

I recently heard a prominent pastor say to a room full of church leaders that one of the reasons he doesn’t cheat on his wife is that he reminds himself every day that she is someone’s daughter, referring to his father-in-law. I cannot tell you how disgusted and heartbroken I was in that moment. His wife has infinite value- simply as herself– as an image bearer of the Living God (Gen. 1:26-27), but women don’t typically matter very much in society, or the church, unless we are attached to something else that gives us worth.

The Context of Judges 15

We have an intense and interesting passage to look at today and it’s hard to deduce anything of value for women without first taking a quick look at the historical context of this Old Testament book. Judges is a long story about how Israel pulled away from Yahweh, the God of their ancestors, and one of the evidences of this “backsliding” is Israel’s and Samson’s treatment of women. This was an ancient and savage culture, extremely corrupt, and most days every tribe was living in desperation (Judges 17:6). Many readers of scripture don’t realize that so much of the Old Testament is a critique of culture, a critique of God’s people, and that God is using these stories to cry out, “Don’t do it this way! This is not what I wanted for you!”

The book of Judges begins with an amazing story about Deborah, a judge and prophetess who had had enough of Israelite oppression and then deteriorates to stories of Samson treating women as sexual objects. This period in Israelite history was also crucially important because it was a time of such transition. During the two centuries recorded in Judges, Israel converted from an assembly of tribes knit together by a common religion into a monarchy. By the end, Israel is estranged from God and nearly an entire tribe is dead.

Now let’s talk about Samson. In Sunday school, I learned Samson had supernatural strength given to him by God and he beat up on the Philistines because they were against God. Hooray! Samson is a hero! But an evil woman manipulated Samson into telling her the secret of his strength so because he loved (*ahem*) her, he told her, and now her people could defeat him. Bad woman! Then God gives Samson one last bout of strength to kill a whole bunch of the enemy people in a temple and dies with them. Yay Samson! What a sacrificial follower of God! Is this story familiar to you?

Samson Was A Womanizer

Unfortunately, this characterization of Samson- not to mention Delilah- is not what scripture intended and quite frankly, I think this story is completely inappropriate for children! What were we thinking?! Here’s what we did not hear too much of in Sunday school about Samson: he was a wild man prone to outbursts of anger and violence, he was a womanizer, he clearly didn’t care much about following his Nazarite vows as evidenced in Judges 14:1-4 and 14:9, he consistently lies (Judges 16), he is feared throughout the land as an unpredictable bully, and in a time that Israel was not “on top” and needed to bind together as a nation, he traveled through forbidden cities and courted forbidden women. Even though the Lord uses Samson’s revenge on the Philistines, Samson’s motivation is pure vanity and selfishness.

In Judges 14 and 15, another gem for soothing bedtime stories, Samson picks out a woman from the Philistine tribe to marry because he’s attracted to her. He was passing by and basically said, “I want that one. Get me her.” He ignores the protest of his parents as well as the rules set out by God for marrying outside of the faith. After the wedding he leaves her and murders 30 innocent people because he is so angry that in order to protect her family from death, she got an answer to a riddle out of him and so he lost a silly bet. Thinking Samson is never coming back, her father gives her to another man. When Samson returns to consummate the marriage, he finds out she is with another man, refuses the offer of her younger sister and burns down acres upon acres of crops and olive trees by lighting the tails of 300 foxes on fire. Eventually, the Philistines burn this woman and her father to death because they know they cannot catch Samson, so this is how they take the next step in revenge. See? Soothing bedtime story.

What Can We Learn From This Story?

1. God is gracious and longsuffering.

In Judges 15 we see a familiar pattern of the Old Testament Israelites: Sin, servitude, supplication, and eventually salvation. Looking back through time it’s almost impossible to believe that they couldn’t learn from their own history over and over and over again. However…. isn’t that us? The human heart must be renewed and consecrated to God every single day or else we fall into the same patterns of destruction! I can fall into patterns of destruction simply by sitting in traffic! The encouraging flip side to the Old Testament Israelite pattern is the pattern of our God. He stands ready to welcome back His wayward people over and over and over. His countenance is outstretched toward the erring and contrite human heart, ready to receive us again and again. By His grace He answers the call of even the most arrogant and most vengeful of us and leads us into salvation. In the time of Judges, God was dealing with an Israel that was unresponsive and regressive, and many scholars consider it one of the “dark ages” in Israel’s history. (Where’s a good Moses when you need one?) So we must read this book within the total context of the revelation of God in and through the Scriptures. This revelation is redemptive in its nature and purpose, and shows us God’s grace for His people age after age. The hero of this story is God, not Samson. This brings us to a second implication:

2. God is for women

In complete contrast to Samson’s behavior in Judges, the three women we read about in connection to Samson are actually behaving as Israel should! Instead of the wandering hearts, disobedience, and flippancy of Israel, these women display evidence of loyalty to their nation and families, civic responsibility, obedience, and the motivation to preserve and strengthen their people. Samson’s story would not be a story without the women that are highlighted by the writer. Remember earlier when I mentioned that much of the Old Testament is actually a critique of society? The story of the abandoned bride in Judges 15 is part of that critique. Her death was not sanctioned or ordered by God. In fact, it was recorded as more evidence of an Israel that was falling apart and becoming barbaric. God’s original intent for women is beautifully recorded in Genesis and beautifully seen in Jesus’ ministry on earth.

3. Jesus

My entire life and vocation is built on the belief that Jesus is it. Jesus is the only answer. How do we reconcile such troubling Old Testament passages? Knowing that God had a plan even then, and that plan was Jesus. How do we know how God feels about women? Look at Jesus. How do we renew and reframe and revive our minds and our hearts every day so we don’t look like Old Testament Israel? Jesus and His Holy Spirit.

Friends, I don’t know about you, but this daughter of the King is thanking Jesus for a new hope today. I am thanking Jesus that our children, or their children, might live in a society where women are not expected to endure the objectification of our bodies and subsequent dehumanization of our souls as if it’s our due. Our God was heartbroken over it for the bride in Judges 15 and He is heartbroken by it now. Remember that a primary purpose of scripture is to reveal God’s redemptive plan. So, take heart, dear ones!

Liked Beth Snyder’s post from the book of Judges? Read more on our series here.

This daughter of the King is thanking Jesus for a new hope today. I am thanking Jesus that our children might live in a society where women are not expected to endure the objectification of our bodies and subsequent dehumanization of our souls. Click To Tweet

Sources:

Half the Church by Carolyn Custis James

Judges Commentaries

Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible

Good Girls, Bad Girls by T.J.