“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” – Hebrews 12:14

I love this quote by Ken Sande, found of Peacemaker Ministries. He says: “When two or three come together in Jesus’ name…there will soon be conflict.” Sande’s statement is sad, but true.

Christians are not immune to conflict. We struggle with sin, fighting, betrayal and unfaithfulness like everyone else, and these conflicts spill into the church too. Talk to any pastor (or pastor’s wife) and they will tell you they’ve probably seen it all, from divorces and child custody disputes to forced pastoral exits, church splits, finance wars, cultural miscommunications and racism, even fistfights on the church board. There’s also the weird infighting too, like arguments over the length of a pastor’s sermon, whether a picture of Jesus should be hung in the foyer, the type of coffee that the church serves, which songs best “usher in” the Holy Spirit and whether it’s appropriate to sing “Happy Birthday” during the service. I wish it was not true.

There’s certainly something to be said about the redeeming power of the gospel of Christ. Christ can heal our wounds. He can soften hearts, allow forgiveness to replace fighting, and bring unity and reconciliation. Jesus truly is our Prince of Peace, is he not?

But, as wonderful as it is to see conflicts resolved and relationships restored, wouldn’t it be even better to see them prevented in the first place? This is the heart of Curtis Heffelfinger’s new book, The Peacemaking Church: 8 Biblical Keys to Resolve Conflict and Preserve Unity. Heffelfinger encourages Christians to cultivate and practice specific character qualities and relational skills mapped out in Scripture. He hopes, as a result, that we will be able to prevent most conflicts from starting in the first place. Sounds pretty good, right?

To be honest, at first, I was disappointed while reading this book…until I realized I had read the title incorrectly. In my initial glance, I thought the title was “8 Biblical Steps”, and I expected each chapter to discuss a specific behavior to begin practicing. However, Heffelfinger rightly understands that proper, peace-keeping actions can only stem from a proper theological mindset, and the first half of his book rightly dives into the biblical concepts of what is a peacemaker and why every Christian should be one. I really appreciated this excurses.

So often, I see Christians clouded by pride and self-righteousness, convinced that their critical (and argumentative) outlook on a situation is what everyone else needs to hear. In a terrible finance war at a previous church, I witnessed the instigator proudly declare that he was skilled at giving Christian leaders “a kick in the pants” when necessary, as if his “I’ll punch you if you don’t agree with me” method was biblical and God-ordained. This kind of approach will never achieve unity in the church. What we need are more Christians to see themselves as peacemakers and for this “grace approach”, as Heffelfinger calls it, to inform everything we say and do both within and outside of the church walls.

It’s not until Part Three that we begin reading about practical conflict prevention ideas, like declining rights to press advantages and making choices to release control. The final chapter, “Honoring Spiritual Leaders for Their Exceptional Work,” is especially powerful. I haven’t read too many books (or articles even) that talk about loving, respecting and following your church leaders. American Christianity often is too stuffed full of individualism for its own good. But Heffelfinger cautions against this by challenging us to respect and esteem our pastors, and he gives specific ideas of what that looks like. This last chapter is definitely a topic we need to discuss more often.

For what it’s worth, Heffelfinger’s book stands out within the peace-making genre. While most seek to approach things with a reactive stance, addressing conflict after its taken place, The Peacemaking Church: 8 Biblical Keys to Resolve Conflict and Preserve Unity is proactive. The author asks, “What if the best fight your congregation ever experiences is the one you never get into in the first place?” I like that. Let’s aim to prevent the crises, the pains and the divisions from happening – that’s something that Christians should strive for both in the church and in their everyday lives.