Bad Mistakes… I’ve Made a Few – Queen
My wife thinks I have the unfortunate combination of being both clumsy and a bit OCD, and, at this point in our marriage, I would tend to agree with her. Exhibit A: It has been 2 weeks since I had a bout of clumsiness and put a dent in our fridge and a chip in our quartz countertop within 48 hours. Both are barely noticeable, but unfixable. Both things I still think about daily, regretting the 2-second lapse in judgment that will forever taint these surfaces .
Though negatively altering the surfaces of our kitchen appliances still haunts me, it is by no means my biggest regret. I have made decisions that have hurt both myself and others, and whose impact continues to reverberate in our lives. When I was in my mid-twenties, I spent years running away from God as fast as I could. I pursued anything else I thought would bring life, but all I found was financial, relational and spiritual ruin. There are few things in that season that isn’t marred with actions I now regret.
Whether it’s something minor like a dent in a fridge ,or an entire season of life filled with shame, regrets are something that we all have, and likely more than a few.
These regrets, whether large or small, can weigh heavy on our hearts long beyond others can realize. And our shame over these regrets can be paralyzing, never allowing us to continue on with our lives without carrying around this regret like an anvil around our souls.
When we begin to feel the heaviness of our regrets, it is good to meditate on the truths of God in order to find relief from the heaviness and to embrace the life God has for us.
God is not surprised
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16)
In Psalm 139, we see that God knows all of our days, even before they are lived. “Every one of them,” which includes the days that are filled with regret. So, God knows what we will regret, even before they occur! Elsewhere in Scripture (e.g., Psalm 136:5, Romans 9, and Isaiah 46), God is revealed to be both in-control (Psalm 136:5) and all-knowing of all things past, present and future (Isaiah 46:10). Because of this, we know that 0% of the things that have happened in our lives are surprising to God. The good and the bad, the sin and the sickness. He knew all of this, and in his wisdom and goodness, God created us and even called us to be daughters and sons!
We can cling to the assurance that in all of God’s power and wisdom, he is not surprised by either the action that caused our regret, nor the regret itself. There is comfort knowing that even our deepest regrets are known by God before they happen.
God works all things for good
…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)
Not only is God not surprised by mistakes, but, if you are in his family, then we are promised that he works all things for good! Now, it does not take too much time to look through the rest of the Book of Romans to realize that this is not an excuse to go on sinning and searching for regrets. Rather, it points to the fact that God consistently uses the things that we regret to shape our lives and his Kingdom as he sees fit.
One example in my own life is when I was in high school. More than anything in the whole world, I wanted to play varsity football. Throughout school, I thought that no matter what happened, if I played at least one varsity sport by the time I was a senior, it would somehow give me a sense of validation. However, after years of sports and practice, I was cut from every team except the football team… and even on the football team I only got to play a couple plays all year. I was crushed, at least for the football season, but then something amazing happened: The world did not end! In fact, after the football season, I had the most peace in my soul that had ever experienced. Though I thought there was nothing more important than playing football, God showed me a glimpse of his peace by seeing me through what, at the time, was an unthinkable experience.
We know that the Kingdom of God is good. For God has promised us a perfect end to the story of all humanity, culminating with a perfect, untainted relationship with God himself. This is a story that encapsulates all of our regrets and still leaves us with a glorious ending for those who lay their lives down at his feet.
More than that, we are also shown that God works out our regrets for our good even on this side of his glorious return. For example, we see King David commit both rape and murder, and he loses a child because of his sins. These are horrific crimes. Yet, God still gives him his future heir through the woman whose husband he killed and with whom he committed adultery – an heir that goes on to become arguably the wisest man to ever live (at least at that time).
Yes, David had a heart of repentance.
No, we should not compare our sins and mistakes to that of others.
However, it is helpful to realize that if God can use even the heinous sins of a selfish king for his glory, he can surely use our biggest mistakes and regrets to continue to build his plan for our life. As we see with David, God is perfect in his justice by taking the child of David’s sin from him, but also perfect in his mercy as David comes to God in repentance. It is the same in our lives, as he has a wonderful plan for our lives and is faithful to work all things for good as we humble ourselves and repent.
God loves us
For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord! (Psalm 117:2)
Finally, though we do not know the author of Psalm 117, David is often credited with many of the psalms, and it is interesting to consider that the man whom God called “after his own heart” was a man both capable of heinous sin and regret, but also a man who remembers God’s steadfast love and faithfulness.
Just like David, whatever we have done, whatever regrets we have, there is nothing that can separate us from God’s steadfast love (Romans 8:28-29). It should be comforting to know, that no matter what we do, if we are a child of God, we will never lose our most precious treasure: His LOVE.
As I look back at the years that I fled from God, though I still see remnants of those regrets in my life, the thing that shines most brightly is that though I left (or at least tried) to leave God, he never left me. In fact, I have even seen him use my past regrets for good. He uses my story to encourage and draw others to him. He uses experiences from that season to fight temptations today. He has redeemed relationships in that season into friendships and business opportunities now. And he has even used that season to bring me to a place where I met an amazing woman who is now my wife.
While we never know how God will use our past regrets, one thing we do know is that God’s love is the most important thing we could ever obtain. It is something that is incomprehensively more valuable than anything that we could lose or have lost. Even if our past regrets seem like they have destroyed our finances, relationships, careers, family, and future dreams, there is no regret that can separate us from God’s love.
That is something that should cause us to Praise the Lord.
The Kingdom of God tells a story that encapsulates all of our regrets and still leaves us with a glorious ending for those who lay their lives down at his feet. Click To Tweet
